DON’T BE RUDE!

This post is going to be of a completely different nature than what I usually do.  This is something that has been bothering me for some time now.  Fortunately, I’m not someone who has had to deal with it here on my blog (nor will I tolerate it), but I’ve seen it other places, and I think it needs some attention.

I’m sick and tired of seeing people being rude to bloggers (vloggers, IGers, etc) in the comments section.

There is absolutely no excuse for this kind of behavior.  None.  Zero.  It is not acceptable.  It’s not cute.  It’s just plain juvenile behavior, and it needs to stop.

I’m going to point out a couple of facts.  As a blogger for many years (not just here), I think I am safe in saying I know a bit about the blogging community.

  1. Most bloggers aren’t doing it for the money, but for the love of the subject.  Yes, there are some who do make money from it, or they get freebies from whatever category it is they write in, but for the most part, the rest of us (and the majority) are doing it because we truly enjoy it.
  2. Saying something negative about a product/company/etc IS NOT BULLYING.  If you are giving an honest review of something and you say you don’t like it and why, that does not constitute bullying.  Somewhere along the lines, this idea of any kind of negativity being bullying came along, and this is one situation of where it’s not the case.  And what kills me is these people who think it is, then badger the reviewer by making nasty comments.  Now who is the bully????
  3. We don’t have to ask for your input.  Nope.  We don’t.  Many of us do because it gives us ideas about things our readers/viewers would like to hear about it, but the truth of the matter is, when we sign up for these services, it’s our names on those accounts, and we can do whatever we want to, and if you don’t like it, tough!
  4. Blogging/vlogging is not our full time job.  Most of us have other jobs, families and miscellaneous other obligations.  So if we don’t get to a request immediately, behaving like an idiot isn’t helping matters.

I’ve seen some really disrespectful behavior on some of the blogs lately, and it just seems like it is getting worse.  Some of these comments make me think of Veruca Salt and her “I want it now!” behavior.  This is just wrong.

Also–parents.  If you know your child is viewing these blogs/vlogs and leaving comments, perhaps it’s high time you pay attention to what they are posting!  I’d be horribly embarrassed by some of these comments if it were my child.  And I suspect a number of the types of comments I’m referring to are made by kids and not adults, simply because of the way they are worded or the nature of the request.

Not sure what I’m talking about?  Here are some examples of the kind of comments I’m talking about.  (Names removed to protect the not-so-innocent)

Please go back to crafts and not reviews! please make orthodontist stuff! (Not only has this blogger always done both, but this person requests orthodontist stuff over and over and over…)

 

You talk way to much (This was on a video review! And the reviewer was on point and very thorough)

 

I’m not happy you didn’t show us accessories you should still should have just took them out and then remembered how they were and put them back like that you made me so mad and if they were in little packages just keeping in the packages (this was a comment on the review for a Create Your Own doll where they got the wrong doll and the woman had thoroughly explained that she didn’t take them out because she was returning the doll.  Grr…)

 

uhhhh… 1st of all, you are hating on american girl! 2nd of all, yeah, the doll is wrong! you got it on the first day it came out! im waiting till i get the 200 dollars.., i have 100 dollars (another comment from the Create Your Own review for the wrong doll. Reviewer was not nasty at all, in fact, she was calmer than I would have been had I forked out $200!  She even said some very nice things about AG!)

 

Back when I first started this blog, I actually had someone tell me that my blog posts were too wordy and that kids wouldn’t be interested in them.  Uh…if you’ve read the blog and have read my “under 13” policy, it’s obvious this blog isn’t aimed mainly at kids.  And it’s my blog.  I’ll say what I want to! You don’t like it–you don’t have to read! (this comment was from someone who was under 13 and was deleted since they violated my policy!)

 

Another thing that drives me absolutely bananas is this idea that you have to have the first comment somewhere–and announce it to the whole world, wasting space and making those of us who really don’t care read it.  Seriously.  NO ONE CARES if your comment is the first one or the last one.  What everyone does care about is that the comment actually has some content to it, as opposed to “Firstie!”.  (Insert roll eyes here)

 

I’m sorry if this post comes off a bit angry, but this kind of behavior is just not acceptable.  And obviously, no one is correcting these people, so I decided it was time it was brought up.  Fortunately, most of the places I’ve seen it occur, the person in charge of the blog site has been very courteous or has simply ignored them.  But the simple fact is, it shouldn’t be happening.

 

Does this kind of thing bother you and have you seen much of it?

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27 thoughts on “DON’T BE RUDE!

  1. It does bother me and I admit, I edit comments and don’t post some. I’ve reached out to snarky commenters and asked if what they really meant to say was (blank)? Our culture is not addressing this change in effective communication strategies. We are quick to point out that snarky comments are rude and immature and that’s right on. It’s not the biggest problem though. The real problem is not teaching the right way to successfully communicate to the “me” generations. It’s not just young people either. There are narcissists scattered everywhere out there. Be a teacher, lead by example, offer suggestions. I once had a student contact a professor with no grammar, punctuation and lots of emojis. I wrote her back before passing on her email and asked if she really intended that message for the head of the department and suggested she utilize our writing center for suggestions on communicating professionally. I received a well written thoughtful reply with excellent grammar and no emojis! The kid could do it but she forgot she should because that’s how she talked to “everyone” now. I try to give commentators the benefit of the doubt. If you can view it as a teaching moment, it might curb your gut anger. (Repeat offenders are my exception. If you try to be rude, I have no time for you).

    • And that’s exactly why I made a point of mentioning parents. I see way too many children who aren’t given any guidance whatsoever in this area. In all honestly, in a lot of areas. And I try to give most commentators the benefit of the doubt, but a couple of these are definitely repeat offenders, and unfortunately, because they continue to do it, others think that it’s okay and start to mimic it.

      A lot of the behavior I’ve seen recently is very demanding. You can hear them stomping their feet in their minds like a spoiled brat. Almost like those of us who are writing/creating the content are their slaves! And I resent that highly. You want to hand over some money to me, then perhaps you can tell me how to run my blog. But until then, keep your rude behavior and nasty comments to yourself! And as far as using it as a teaching moment, if it’s on my blog, you can bet I would, but when I see it on someone else’s blog, I’m hesitant to say anything, and often times as I mentioned, it’s ignored. I have called out people though on YouTube for their rude comments. The worst ones seem to come from there.

  2. The one rule I worked on with our granddaughter from the time she was very little, was the Golden Rule – Always treat others the way you would want to be treated. If everyone would think of this before they comment it would keep a lot of rude comments out!

  3. Thank you for addressing this subject; you make some excellent points. I often don’t read the comments on blog posts or YouTube videos specifically because they tend to lack both good grammar and respect for others.

    • Sometimes the comments are enough to curl your hair, I totally get why you would avoid them! I’m also amazed at the levels some people will stoop to just to get attention. Show a bit of self respect!

  4. Absolutely! If you don’t have something nice to say, then don’t say anything at all. It seems that this technology generation tend to get offended by everything, and have a very instant gratification mindset. They want everything their way, and they want it now. Anything else is overly offensive, and they can’t just keep their nasty comments to themselves. 😦

    ginnie / http://www.fakingitmostly.com

  5. I’ve seen some very nice girls chased off of YouTube b/c they don’t have and AG doll, and use a Springfield or OG doll or whatever, and these people are downright hurtful to them. A few have pulled that crap w/ me b/c of my Julie, and I have to remind them that I’m not a child and I will NOT be bullied. But see, most of these people feel safe behind the anonymity of a computer screen. Chances are they probably wouldn’t say these things to your face. I haven’t had too much of this on Julie’s blog but there are a couple of people I have had to ask NOT to post anymore on my blog b/c they just don’t seem to get that they can’t just say whatever they feel like saying. I won’t moderate my posts b/c I feel people should moderate themselves. Most of these people are just desperate for attention, (even if it’s negative). It’s sad, really.

    • I know exactly what you are talking about, I remember someone leaving nasty comments to another adult YouTuber and I was absolutely appalled. Another case of it was when Evil Twin and I found the person who showed how to pierce doll ears so you could use regular earrings. She used an OG doll to do it on and you wouldn’t believe the nasty comments she got informing her that she wasn’t using an AG doll like her title post said. Honestly, what difference did it make what kind of doll she used, the technique worked for both, but apparently there are some people out there who have real insecurity issues who only feel good when they are belittling others.

      The one thing that these people don’t stop and think about–people in our age group are the ones who are likely to be making hiring decisions when it comes time for them to get a job. And whether they like it or not, employers look for this kind of stuff online. How do I know about this? Because we had a situation like that where I used to work where an employee was passed over for a promotion because of something that occurred in their online activity. The saying “don’t post anything in public online that you wouldn’t want your grandma to read” comes to mind!

    • I love Julie and your crew! it’s a perfect melting pot.

      Yes, my crew is primarily AG, but that is my choice and I wouldn’t trash talk anyone’s collection or all the hard work bloggers and YouTubers etc. put into their posts. It’s sad that some do.

  6. I haven’t seen a ton of this behavior in the AG domain, but we really don’t visit YouTube other than occasional videos Ag uploads (like Z). I wouldn’t feel comfortable with my daughter having a presence on YouTube, because I think it is one of the hot spots for cruel comments. A recent article on Wash Post outlined the strong correlation between teens using social media and depression.

    • I agree, I think YouTube is really no place for a child. I don’t know why it seems to be such a magnet for that kind of behavior. I read that article and it was very interesting, kind of scary. I shared it with several friends who have teens that I thought might find it useful too.

  7. YES! I haven’t had any particularly annoying ones happen to me yet, but I’ve heard of others getting comments like “You should give me this doll, you have too many” or non-stop begging for someone to sell a particular doll to them (at a deep discount). I’m thankful the AG fandom hasn’t gotten as bad as some others, though. Gaming fans and even some animation fans can be pretty brutal.

    • I have seen exactly the types of comments you are talking about! And yes, the AG fandom overall still isn’t as bad as others. I know some people who are very active in the Sherlock fandoms and WHOA! You just can’t believe some of the stuff that goes on. Which makes me wonder if that’s where some of the behavior we are seeing is coming from, they are witnessing this kind of stuff from older siblings, or worse yet, parents?

  8. I have frequently said that parents do not teach their children to be polite anymore. It shows in the comments I see in many venues. Early on in my blog journey someone commented that no one needed that many AG dolls. That it was immoral. What?!? Immoral? Haha!!

  9. Hi! This is a wonderful post! Thankfully no one has been exceedingly rude to me, but I do moderate my comments and very well could have blocked out anything annoying. However, the badgering. I have seen that on some blogs I follow. Mostly in relation to “when are you going to post again?” In those cases I have tried to comment something positive in response and also reached out to the blogger in email to make sure they were okay.

    The place I see this kind of thing the most is on goodreads. People who dislike a book leaving nasty comments on a 5 star review and vice versa. It’s terrible! We don’t seem to be able to acknowledge or tolerate anyone who does not think exactly as we do. Honestly, I truly dislike the reviews start by calling fans idiots. Just tell me why you – and you personally – disliked or liked the book.

    • It is just sad that anyone thinks some of this behavior is acceptable. The majority of us are doing this for fun and when someone decides to be super critical, it takes a bit of it away. Plus, I’d be curious to know just how many of the super critical folks have ever written a blog, made a YouTube video or anything creative? I’d be willing to bet that it’s a pretty low number.

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