When Bad Things Happen to Good Dolls: It Never Ends!

It’s time for another installment of bad Ebay and Etsy listings.  When I wrote the first post, I thought I’d stumbled across the worst of the worst.  Man was I wrong!  It’s amazing just how many strange listings there are out there, and I think with the advent of the camera phone, they have gotten worse.

Our first category is going to be bad photography.  I’m sorry, but if you can’t put forth anymore effort than some of these people did, you don’t deserve to sell the item.  First up is the least annoying of the bunch.  I have to thank Jen and Brianna for this one:

bad ebay courtesy of Brianna

We were trying to figure out if the giant bottle of tea came with her or not.  Then we figured it out: it’s “authentic” doll pee!!! (In case you missed the joke, it had to do with the previous installment) Uh folks, there are these wonderful programs out there that make it possible to edit this stuff out.  USE THEM!  Or better yet, clear the area before taking the photos.  The irony with this particular listing is that in the other pics, the tea bottle had been removed.

Next is one I found on Craigslist.  I’m continually amazed at the bad photography on Craigslist, or better yet, trying to sell something like this with no photograph at all!

bad ebay craigslist TonyI guess Tony was more concerned with getting his name up there than he was some decent photos of what he was selling.  My husband looked at it and said “what is it?”  Bit of advice when selling–at least lay the stuff in a nice arrangement and don’t leave it there like a balled up Kleenex.  NEXT!

Bad ebay horse for $100This wins the “what is it” photography award.  It’s a Battat/Our Generation horse.  Why would you take a picture of it from this angle???  To make it worse, this was the ONLY photo of it in the eBay listing–and they were asking $100 for it plus shipping!  Wow.

bad ebay kits deskA lovely photo of Kit’s desk…not.  Not only is it blurry, but they couldn’t be bothered to clear off the space where they set it to take the photo.  I wouldn’t bid on this in a million years.  My thoughts are is if you can’t take the time to make sure the space is cleaned off, just how dirty is your house and how dirty is the piece.  There were other pictures with it and they were just as bad.  I just don’t understand not cleaning up the mess before you start.

This one…I’m still trying to figure out what the deal was with it.  This seller had multiple doll clothing items listed and they all had the faces blocked out.  Perhaps their dolls are in the Doll Witness Protection Program?  I am still scratching my head…

bad ebay witness protection program

This next item falls into the “sheer stupidity” category.  It’s not a photo, but a review that someone left on Etsy.  When I’m looking at an Ebay or Etsy seller for a potential purchase, I look at their feedback, and even if they have some bad feedback, I want to read it because…well…some people have some unrealistic expectations and bad or negative feedback is not always warranted.  This one took the cake.  I’ve been looking at custom dolls and wigs and when I came across this review, I thought to myself “this person shouldn’t have dolls if they are this dumb.”

It was for a doll wig.  Here’s the review:

“The product is excellently made but as a wig you have to remove the doll’s original hair when a wig is usually put on by laying it on original hair.
I expected a wig for AG to be like a wig for a human but it won’t fit my doll and I don’t know how to remove her real hair to fit on a wig, a wig is not meant to be used all the time and only to be a slight replacement for her own hair. “

Seriously?!?!  First off, I didn’t know that dolls had “real” hair like humans (guess it must be the ones who produce authentic doll poop).   And sorry, yes, you are supposed to remove the original hair first.   These aren’t like human wigs.  This review annoys me too because instead of asking the seller questions, they just left them bad feedback.  Ugh.  I truly felt bad for this seller when I saw this because this was a completely unwarranted bad review.  Fortunately all of their other reviews were stellar with 5 stars so hopefully this one will disappear eventually into the bad review abyss.

Now on to the scary!  The first was sent to me by Jen again and was an Etsy listing:

bad etsy cabbage patch slippersThe sad part is that I remember when these dolls were all the rage and I had a couple.  I’m not sure if they actually sold these slippers back then or if someone tore apart two Cabbage Patch dolls to make them.  If I remember correctly, they were selling for close to $40, and they looked used.  I don’t know about you, but I don’t know that I would want to wear slippers with two little heads looking up at me, let alone ones that had been on someone else’s feet for an extended period of time.  Just very strange.

And now for the winner of the worst Ebay/Etsy/Craigslist listing this time around (if not maybe for all time).  I came across this on Ebay one morning and I just couldn’t believe it.  At first I thought maybe a kid had done it, but then upon reading the listing decided it was an adult.  Yikes!  I don’t know if she was channeling Rainbow Bright, but this is probably one of the scariest customizations I have ever come across.  $165.  Are you ready?

bad ebay rainbow doll 1

bad ebay rainbow doll 2

I’ve seen customizations done by young girls that are WAY better than this.  What in the world?!?!

That’s it for this time!  If you come across a listing you think I could use, please send me the link via e-mail.  I will not post any links to the listings themselves to protect the (not so) innocent!  But I do want to check the whole listing out, do not send me just photos.  Thanks!


16 thoughts on “When Bad Things Happen to Good Dolls: It Never Ends!

  1. There’s no excuse for sloppy photography, especially when you’re trying to make money! Tacky! And I saw that last doll too! That’s just pathetic! And UGLY!

    • I don’t sell tons on Ebay but when I do, I make sure that I have multiple good photos and good descriptions too. It amazes me how many descriptions have a single sentence. And my stuff usually sells and commands the higher prices, I’m sure that’s why.

      That last doll–ugly is putting it mildly.

  2. Ah, what a treat to see the jug o pee again! I truly laughed out loud at the last doll. Especially the last picture with the special eye brows!
    I’m with you in regard to not buying from sellers who can’t make even a marginal effort to take a picture on a clean surface.

    • I think after the original post, bathroom humor will almost always come into play, and this picture certainly was a good set up!!!

      Yeah, even Brooke Shields would have been envious of those eyebrows. 😉

      How hard is it to find a spot that you can clear off to take photos? I have several locations within my living and dining rooms that work well for this, and I don’t have to rearrange everything, just move a thing or two. The ones that look like they are in an episode of “Hoarders”-no thank you!

    • I think everyone sees dollar signs and they don’t realize that to be successful at it, it takes a bit of work. I see so many sloppy listings anymore, and the same stuff over and over, so obviously, it’s not selling for some reason!

  3. The last one of the doll with the kalidescope eyes, Ugh. Is this person stuck in the time warp. If so it had to be the sixties. Who would want to do such a terrible thing to what started out to be such a pretty doll. There is no accounting for some people’s taste.
    ET 2

  4. Dear Flo,
    My mum and I always enjoy looking at these – but as I was showing her the latest, I found that I had my two older brothers (16 and 20 years old) and my sisters all laughing at the absurdity of these. My brothers’ favourite was the mermaid doll from the other post. They each had something hilarious to say about it.
    My first brother said that you were personally responsible for giving him an eternal nightmare (and I have to agree!)
    My second brother said that he is convinced the doll is alive (or possessed). He said that it seems the owners of it put it in the backyard because it was haunting their house, then found it looking in their windows at two o’clock in the morning and decided it needed to go. So they listed it as a mermaid doll, got some hapless individual to buy it, netted it, and packed it into a crate for shipping. He says that he fears for the person who had to unbox that vexed monster…
    All in all, I love these, and I hope you keep making them so we can laugh some more!
    (PS: They also thought the ‘authentic doll turds’ were hilarious!)

    • Tell your brother I apologize for the nightmares LOL! Some of these are permanently etched on my memory, so I can relate! Your other brother may be on to something there…hmmmm…

      I have to admit that sometimes I have a really hard time writing these posts because I’m usually laughing so darned hard! Unfortunately, I haven’t come across too many listings lately that are quite so absurd, but if I do, I’ll be saving them for future use! Glad you and your family enjoy them so much. Thanks!

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